


tulips

by teddygirl105



Series: flower fields [3]
Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Cats, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Married Life, Rebirth, Spies & Secret Agents, dedicated to abi, i love u hun, lifetimes, mention of Hyojin, mention of Minkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28788372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddygirl105/pseuds/teddygirl105
Summary: Reawaken. Live. Die. Awaken once more.
Relationships: Lee Changyoon | E-Tion/Lee Seungjun | J-Us
Series: flower fields [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098869
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	tulips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyosgardens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyosgardens/gifts).



> i like making things 4 my friends to give them love

"Time and time again, we meet once more."

Changyoon lets out a low chuckle, arms crossed. "Indeed we do." he muses. "Tell me, Seungjun. Have you been well?"

The man takes in a deep breath. "Well enough, I'd like to hope."

He steps up to the edge of the cliffside, right next to Changyoon. "The stars are beautiful tonight."

"That's the fun of living here in the countryside. No light pollution. Beautiful sights whenever it's clear." His gaze catches a few constellations, ones that he can't quite remember the names of. He knows that the Seungjun of the past would have probably known. Not in this life, though.

The two of them stand in silence, the night air blanketing them in a cool swathe. Despite it being the first time they've seen each other in ages, there is no awkward tension between them.

"Do you remember the first time we actually met?" Seungjun blurts out, "Two university students pining over each other for a whole year."

Changyoon laughs. "Those were some painful times. You won't believe how much Minkyun teased me for it."

"Hyojin did the same." He edges just a little closer to him.

"And do you remember the second time?" Changyoon's gaze turns wistful. "I miss those times."

Seungjun turns to look at him. "I do as well." He observes him, his lips, how the starry sky reflects in his eyes. "We prospered. We lived."

"That we did." A tear wells up in his eye. "I miss Cora."

A small smile curls on his lips, and Seungjun huffs. "Do you want another cat?"

Changyoon meets his gaze, blinking away his tears and grinning back. "Maybe a cat and a dog this time?"

Seungjun shrugs. "Why not?"

"Cora and Charlie."

"You're going to name the cat Cora again? What if it's a male this time?"

"Cornelius."

Seungjun takes in a deep breath, biting his lip and mentally trying not to scream. "Please, do not name the cat Cornelius." he forces out.

Changyoon pouts. "Meanie." He steps a little closer.

Silence runs through their conversation, suddenly becoming flat.

They both know that there's… a touchy subject that lies in front of them. The elephant in the room that they both skirt around.

"Listen, I-"

"I'm sorry-"

They both pause, their words clashing each other. "Y-You go first." Changyoon stutters out.

"Okay." Seungjun prepares himself, wringing his fingers nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you."

There's a lump in his throat that forms, and Changyoon swallows it down. "I… Alright." He shuts his eyes. "It hurt. A lot."

"I know."

"It still does, Seungjun."

"...I know."

"What will you do?" He turns his whole body towards him. "What will you do if I do not forgive you?"

"Then that's fine."

Another stretch of silence.

"...What happened?"

Seungjun furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"

"Did… Was there a reason for your leave?"

A flash of regret and pain flickers in Seungjun's face. All of a sudden, it's like he's aged by many years, eyes filled with so much fatigue and his shoulders drooping like a weight has been placed on them.

"I… I didn't want to hurt you." He licks his lips, letting out a sigh. "You know what I did. You still loved me. But they… they wanted to use you as fodder. I didn't _want that._ "

"I wouldn't have cared-"

"They were going to _kill you,_ Changyoon!" Seungjun roars, whirling around to him. "They were going to torture you, play with you, do anything you could imagine, just so that I would play into their hands." His heart pounds in his chest, lungs heaving for breath as tears begin to roll down his cheeks. "I was scared. So scared."

With trembling hands, Changyoon reaches up to cup Seungjun's cheeks, wiping his tears away. Seungjun grasps onto him, gripping tightly as if he were afraid that he'd leave.

"Oh. Oh Seungjun." he breathes out.

"I didn't want to lose you. I'm sorry Changyoon, please I'm so sorry." Seungjun sobs, trembling so violently that he can't even keep his hold.

"No, no. It's okay. It's alright. You…" he hesitates for a moment, looking away for a brief second. "You did what your heart told you to do. I'm proud of you."

"I left you without any explanation! You can't be proud of me, not of a coward like me who just-"

"Seungjun." Changyoon's voice is firm, gaze growing strong. "Deep breaths. Follow my lead."

He begins to take deep breaths, in and out, sternly watching Seungjun follow him. It takes a few moments, the two of them on the cliff at night with just the wind and the stars, for Seungjun to calm down. His breathing flattens out to a slower pace, the occasional hiccup in place.

"Listen. We're going to live. We're going to have a happy home with our two cats and a dog. We will thrive. We will prosper."

"But-"

"No buts. What's in the past is in the past. We need to live in the present."

He closes the distance between them, taking Seungjun into his arms. His chin rests on Changyoon's shoulder, as he slowly runs his hands through his hair. "We'll be alright. We've lived through this three times. We can do it once more."

"...Why would you forgive me?" Seungjun whispers.

"I haven't. Not quite yet. But your apology? I will accept. I think… It'll be a bit before I can truly forgive you. That doesn't mean I can't make amends."

Seungjun wraps his arms around Changyoon's torso, holding him tight and taking in his presence. His warmth. His scent.

After a long time of standing there, with no words exchanged between themselves, Seungjun speaks out. "Why two cats?"

That makes Changyoon laugh. "So we can name one of them Cora and the other one Cornelius."

"Oh god, no." Seungjun groans, burrowing his face into the crook of Changyoon's neck. "Why has fate forsaken me? To be forever tied in life with you?"

"Because you love me."

"Fuck, you're right."

**Author's Note:**

> red tulips: perfect/passionate love, rebirth  
> purple tulips: royalty, abundance, prosperity  
> yellow tulips: forgotten/neglected love  
> white tulips: forgiveness
> 
> also the third life was inspired by [one more day](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012479) pls pls pls give it a read <3
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/teddygirl105)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/teddygirl05)


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